{"id":7157,"date":"2019-03-26T11:32:36","date_gmt":"2019-03-25T22:32:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thesislink.aut.ac.nz\/?p=7157"},"modified":"2019-03-29T13:20:58","modified_gmt":"2019-03-29T00:20:58","slug":"reflections-of-a-muslim-student-during-nzs-darkest-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesislink.aut.ac.nz\/?p=7157","title":{"rendered":"Reflections of a Muslim Student During NZ\u2019s Darkest Days"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

On Friday 15th<\/sup> of March 2019, I was studying in a parent room at the AUT City campus Library. At 3pm Margaret Leniston, one of my scholarship officers for my Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade (MFAT) NZ Scholarship, sent me a message and said \u2018sorry\u2019 about the tragedy in Christchurch. I did not know what had happened at that time, so I searched for information on social media. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw this message:\n\u2018Innalillahiwainaliahirojiun\u2019 (“We belong to Allah [God] and to Allah we\nshall return.”). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My attention flew away into the sky. I lost\nmy energy to study. At that time, my second child Adilla was with me. A few minutes\nlater, Margaret knocked on the door of the parent room and brought a cup of tea and some food for us. We\nwatched together as Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern shared information about the tragedy. Jacinda\nArdern cleared her schedule\nand focused on quick action to respond to the situation. At 4pm, she said this was\n\u201cone of the darkest days in New Zealand.\u201d At 7pm, Jacinda Ardern clearly said\nthat the attack was\n\u201cterrorist action.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At that moment, I felt a growing fear. I reflected on the stories I had heard about the lives of Muslims in the United States after 9\/11; in Europe after so many instances of Islamophobia; and in areas of conflict in Afghanistan, Iraq, China, Syria, Palestine, Myanmar, and Yemen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A deep fear occupied my mind: \u201cwill Islamophobia\ntake hold in\nNew Zealand?\u201d As a\nMuslim student, I imagined that my life (and my family\u2019s life) would\nbe tarnished by\ndark days in the wake of\nthis tragedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day 1<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Saturday <\/strong>16 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the morning, we decided to stay home to make sure everything was fine. The information that I heard by word of mouth was that Muslim women wearing a scarf or hijab were recommended to stay home and not\ngo to a mosque.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I pushed myself to recover\nenough energy to finish the previous days\u2019 work. Outside of my small room, I listened\nto the noise from police helicopters. They were very close to\nus, not like other days. I realized that the police helicopters tried to\nreassure us that we were safe here. The security in New Zealand had shifted from\nlow to high alert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both of my supervisors, Sari Andajani and Sharyn Graham Davies, contacted\nme. They made sure my family and I would be fine, and asked if I needed anything. One of them said \u201cHi sayang <\/em>(honey), I am around with a car if you need anything.\u201d They are an amazing part of our family journey at\nAUT, beyond the usual supervisors\u2019 role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the evening, my daughters said \u201cMommy, let\u2019s play outside!\u201d \u201cI want to buy milk\nand ice cream!\u201d We decided to go outside to our closest supermarket. We saw\npolice cars from outside our accommodation, in the street, and\nwe tried to fight our fear. I told myself: \u2018Have no fear, God is with us, New\nZealanders are with us.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My oldest daughter sang all the way to the\nsupermarket. They were so little and they did not know what happened yesterday.\nShe sang an Indonesian kids\u2019 song called \u2018One by One\u2018 (Satu satu<\/em>). The lyrics go:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One\u2026 one\u2026 I love my mother;  <\/em>
Two… two… I also love my father; <\/em>
Three\u2026 three\u2026 I love sisters and brothers; <\/em>
One two three\u2026 I love all!<\/em> <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I uploaded a video<\/a> of her to\nmy Facebook to reassure our friends and families that we\nare fine here; we are safe here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Nothing changed. No one stared at us, and my daughters decided to wear\ntheir beautiful hijabs. It was just like many other colourful days in New Zealand that we have\npassed over 3 years during my PhD study. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

New Zealand media decided not to show videos about the tragedy. They blurred the image of the perpetrator, and focused on informative and positive messages. Nevertheless, I replied to hundreds of messages and responses from our friends and family in Indonesia. They were still shocked about the tragedy \u2013 especially as the video spread quickly, even in Indonesia, which is majority Muslim. We tried to upload some pictures to show that we are fine in New Zealand, and to counter negative information and\nhatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Day 2<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Sunday <\/strong>17 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was invited to my scholarship officer Margaret Leniston\u2019s house for breakfast. My children call her \u2018Grandma\u2019. We walked together and saw that Auckland was in mourning. It was Sunday. Not many people went outside their homes. After\nthe tragedy, Auckland looked to be in \u2018silence mode\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We saw that at each bus stop, there was a sign of love with the New Zealand flag and the\nbackground changed from black to white, vice versa.\nI felt how New Zealanders provide us a \u2018supportive environment\u2019 after the tragedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Auckland is not close to Christchurch \u2013 it is on a different island from us. But the New Zealand government provides supportive\nzones for Muslims all over New Zealand. Thank you New Zealanders for\nyour love for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day 3<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Monday <\/strong>18 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I and my two little kids went to AUT, and I dropped them off at their\nchildhood centre. It was just normal daily activities, but we felt some empathy and sympathy surrounding us. In the\nmorning, before I went to University, we went to our closest clinic to check\nour two kids who were not feeling well. One of the doctors said hi to us and\nsaid \u201cI am so sorry for what happened in Christchurch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arriving at AUT,  I saw a big screen with a picture of a woman wearing hijab hugging a\nMaori woman and the writing said: \u201cTHEY ARE US. This is your home\nand you should have been safe here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tears dropped from my eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

That day, there was one minute of silence that was attended by AUT\u2019s Vice Chancellor Derek McCormack, the President of the AUT Muslim Students Association Mohamed Soliman, Chaplaincy Coordinator Linda T. Hope, and other AUT leaders, staff, and students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the event, my daughter Adilla held up a\npicture that she drew at her childhood centre. More than 100 students took her\npicture. Finally, she felt tired and pretended to sleep. She, a Muslim\nprincess, was being loved by others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, it is our home, we were safe here,\u201d I said to Adilla, and kissed her. \u201cTime to go to your school again and play with your\nfriends and your brother, Muhandas.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Day 4<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Tuesday <\/strong>19 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adilla and I went to University. Being a mother\nand a student, my favorite room is the parent room \u2013 a space for me to study and for my children to play where we won\u2019t disturb other students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

At lunch time, Adilla shared her drawings and put her dolls in the reflection area in WG building. She put a hijab on her doll. She\nchose to play with Fatima, another AUT Muslim student from Saudi Arabia. Then, Adilla chose to put her drawings in\nthe AUT library, and one staff member from the library helped her to stick it on the wall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day 5<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Wednesday <\/strong>20 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At lunch time, my friend Lisa Waldner, who I met during an AUT writing retreat, contacted me and wanted to see\nme at AUT. We met in the library and she\nbrought a lovely flower for me and my kids. After arriving home, my daughters said \u201cI love the flower Mommy!\u201d I told them to say thanks to Aunty Lisa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day 6<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Thursday <\/strong>21 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided to study at home. I wrote some stories\nabout our life and uploaded some pictures through Facebook. I thought it is my\nresponsibility to clarify some misconceptions about the tragedy, and let the world know that New Zealand protects the Muslim\ncommunity, and creates a safe zone especially for Muslim\ncommunities, international tourists and other New Zealanders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some Indonesian friends told me via social\nmedia that the Haka dance had inspired the world, and embodied the spirit of unity in New Zealand. The Haka dance is an integral part of Maori and NZ culture, and communicates goodness, love, empathy, and respect\nfor all victims of the tragedy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Day 7<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2013<\/strong> <\/strong>Friday <\/strong>22 March 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My daughter Queency was happy. Her teacher sent an email to say that this Friday is a colourful day, and to bring coins for donation. She was so excited to wear her\ncolourful clothes with her hijab and one flower\nfrom her Aunty Lisa. Some New Zealanders respected Queency and my husband during their journey to Queency\u2019s school by smiling, putting their hands to their chests, and nodding respect for Islam. We saw some New Zealanders wearing headscarves for harmony, and we published pictures<\/a> on social media. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband went to the AUT Mosque for Friday\nprayers. My husband told me that everything was safe: there were police, AUT\nsecurity guards, and amazing support from New\nZealanders. There was two minutes\u2019 silence not only in mosques, schools, and universities, but all over New Zealand to pray and\nreflect on what happened last\nFriday. The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern promised to the Muslim community that it will not happen again in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

My reflection<\/strong> after one week<\/strong>…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was worried about Islamophobia in the\naftermath of the Christchurch attacks. But my fears were mostly unfounded. New Zealand differs from other countries. I think New Zealanders and Kiwis exemplify how to be great human\nbeings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, New Zealanders and the people of this world should give great\nappreciation to the leadership that has been shown here, especially by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. She shows us how a great\nwoman can solve problems with a good manner and empower\nothers to join with her. Lastly, the world should learn from New Zealand\u2019s ability to unite all differences if we want\nto create a better world for future generations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you Jacinda Ardern <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you New Zealanders<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For your love for us<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have become one of the witnesses of life after the tragedy. I learned some messages in New Zealand: \u201cIslamophobia will never win\u201d; \u201cDestroy Islamophobia\u201d; \u201cThey are Us\u201d; and \u201cAroha\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a Muslim international student with my family\nin Auckland, New Zealand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are safe here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

By Najmah Usman<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A PhD candidate <\/p>\n\n\n\n

An international student from Indonesia<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Muslim<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A mother of three kids: Queency (5), Adilla (3), and Muhandas (1), with my husband Kusnan Sayuti<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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